November 26, 2011

Fact is Better: Pilgrim Pick-Up Lines

When I was in the first grade our class recreated the first Thanksgiving meal. All the parents got together to cook and serve traditional foods, as the students acted out what it may have been like with the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. Now, without legally being able to admit to this, each student was chosen to be either a Pilgrim or a Native American based entirely on their looks.

A fair-haired, freckled me was brokenhearted when I was selected to be a Pilgrim (I wanted so badly to be a Native American - those kids to wear headdresses and pretty jewelry; while the "Pilgrim's" had to wear dresses and stupid hats).

So, I retold this story to The Photographer the night before Thanksgiving (and had a mild self-induced heart attack when I realized it was more than twenty years ago when this happened). Now, despite his dark, furry hair, when he was little The Photographer was also a blonde kid, meaning he would've also been a Pilgrim. 

Now, I try not to share really personal stories about my romantic life, but this one was too humorous and lovely not to: a few days after we had the above conversation, the following text messages happened . . .

The Photographer: "I wanted you to know, that I would have shared food at the First Feast with you."
Me: "You would?  How? Courting is very difficult you know."
The Photographer: "Of course I would. Foodies go well together, I hear."
Me: "So you'd just ask, 'Is this seat taken?'"
Me: "Or: 'Which colony are you from?'"
The Photographer: "Wanna own a farm with me?  You're pretty."
Me: "'Were you on the Santamaria or the Nina?  I didn't see you on The Pinta!'"
The Photographer: "That sure was a long journey. Wish we had been together to keep warm.'"
Me: "Wow, you would've jumped right in, eh?
Me: "'I make great pie.' That would've been my pick-up line."
The Photographer: "I never could've been so forward.
Me: "I take mine back. I would've said: 'I've got baby-making hips and can churn butter with the best of them.'"
The Photographer: "Oof. Winner.  Pie making would've taken it, too, though."
Me: "Why am I picking YOU up at the First Feast?  YOU'RE the boy. You would've had to trade some chickens for me or something."
The Photographer: "I would've traded all my chickens and a goat for you."
Me: "So, as a Pilgrim, when we landed on Plymouth Rock, you loved me upon first sight?  And you waited until the first Thanksgiving to work up the nerve to court me?"
The Photographer: "First sight and hearing your witty talk."
Me: "I'm glad that even as a Settler, I was witty and not docile. The other Pilgrim boys wouldn't have liked my sass, you know."
The Photographer: "I know. But I was ahead of the times. I knew you could lead better than most men."
Me: "I'm glad you noticed me, Pilgrim Boy.'
The Photographer: "I'm glad you noticed me back, Pilgrim Girl."


True story.

Further proof that fact is better (even in the first grade) then fiction.