December 4, 2010

Fact Is Better: Craigslist People. People Like Me.

I have been a fan of Craigslist for some time now. I’ve dated off there, bought and sold things off there, gone to fun events from things off there; I found my photographer, my first laptop, my pet rabbit, my job as an alcohol spokes model, and half of the things in my house from Craigslist.

I’m no spring chicken when it comes to the ways of CL.

I recently sold my winter tires on Craigslist. The gentleman who came to pick them up was absolutely astonished at how the tires were in near perfect condition. He mentioned how he had had bad Craigslist experiences before, and that he was skeptical about the tires before seeing them in person. He was excited I was a legitimate person, and not a freak or sketchball.

I’ve been trying to sell my kitchen table and chairs. I simply don’t want them anymore. When a couple showed interest, I was elated. They were driving from an hour and a half away from the coast and wanted to make sure they were getting a good deal. So, I sent them pictures and told them about the table and how I really was a trustworthy source (recounting the tire experience).

What went down wasn’t anything I could have expected and is now the (only) second time I’ve had an awful Craigslist experience (tip: don’t ever find yourself a roommate from Ghana on there).

*my phone rings*
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Hi. We’re outside your . . . um . . . apartment.” *said with disgust*
Me: “Oh, great! I’ll let you in.”
*runs down to the main entrance and opens the door for them.*
Me: “Hi! Welcome. Come on in!”
*I look at the couple – which are emanating arrogance and snobbiness – and I can see the revolt in their eyes. I immediately go on the defensive.*
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Oh. Ugh. Ehhh. You have a rabbit.” *said with revulsion*
Me: “Yep. I sure do.”
*The lady looks at the table and sneers. She goes up to one of the chairs and begins violently shaking it back and forth.*
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Oh, this will just not do. Ugh.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Your chairs! YOUR CHAIRS! I mean, chairs have a little give, but nothing this bad.” *she slams one chair back and forth*
Me: “Well, when you do that do it, of course it’s gonna have give!”
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Look, we’re just trying to renovate our second home. And we’re new to Craigslist. We’re just learning about people like you.”
Me: “PEOPLE LIKE ME?”
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: *looks condescendingly to me* “You know. People who misadvertise. And lie. I mean really, this?” *she waves her hand over my table and chair set* “This is trashy and belongs in a dorm room.”
Me: “Wow. I’m so sorry you had to drive so far for so much disappointment in life.”
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: *looks affrontingly at me* “Excuse me?”
Me: “Please get out of my house.”
Snobby Mid-Coast Wife: “Well, I . . .”
Me: “Best of luck finding what you’re looking for . . . on CRAIGSLIST.”
*I slam the door shut before the woman even has a chance to entirely cross the threshold in hopes that I might hit her on her patronizing ass.*

True story.

Further proof that fact is better than fiction.