August 21, 2010

Fact is Better: The World's Worst Ice Cream Parlor

I have consistently been having problems with one of the ice cream shops in town this summer including an uneducated, unfriendly high school staff, along with numerous other unmentioned things like constantly messing up my order and frequently overcharging me.

I’ve given them the benefit of the doubt despite all of this, but I’ve officially reached the end of the line with them. Believe it or not, but I am a very courteous patron when I go out, but when I’m consistently treated with disrespect, then all bets are off.  And it's time this business gets called out on their shoddy practices.

Me: *looking at the hard serve menu* “Hey, do you have Key Lime Pie?”
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: “Like, the hard serve?”
Me: "Yeah . . . like the hard serve."
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: "Sure!" *she walks to the freezer, looks in, and comes back to me empty handed* "Nope! We don't have any!”
Me: "Interesting. See, 'cause I was here about two weeks ago and specifically asked you and another girl who was working how long key lime pie would be available. And you said that it would be around for the rest of the summer. So, for validation purposes, I repeated myself. I said, quote, 'You're telling me, key lime pie will be around for the rest of the summer?' And you and the other girl got really short with me and said yes like I was stupid. Yet, here we are, two weeks later, and you no longer have it.”
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: *dramatically rolling her eyes* "I can make you a key lime pie blizzard. It's like the same thing."
Me: "Can you tell me precisely what's in it?"
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: *sighing heavily* "It's the SAME THING!"
Me: *staring at her expectantly*
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: "Ugh. Okay, it's like vanilla ice cream and we squirt lemon-lime flavoring in it, then we mix it with graham cracker and marshmallow. It tastes EXACTLY the same. Like they're exactly the same thing."
Me: "Do they taste exactly the same?  Are they exactly the same thing?"
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: "I just said that."
Me: *staring at her expectantly*
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: "YES! They're like the same thing."
Me: "Fine. I'll have one of those."
*the girl makes it for me and I hand her the $3.50 (please note: this is $2.20 more than a single scoop of key lime pie on a sugar cone). I begin to walk away and take my first bite, but come to a sudden stop, spinning on my heels to face her again.*
Me: "This . . . is . . . EFFING TERRIBLE." (*please note: I’m sorry to say, but an actual eff bomb was dropped in public; please don’t think less of me*).
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: *stares at me completely incensed*
Me: *loudly for other customers to hear* "This is one of the worst thing I've ever eaten in my life. And you LIED to me and told me it tasted EXACTLY like the hardserve."
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: "Well, there's nothing I can do now."
Me: “Are you kidding me?”
Attitudinal Teenage Girl: *gives me a nasty look before choosing to just ignore me, and beings to wait on a new customer*

It gets worse: I didn’t eat the ice cream, but I didn’t throw it away. I placed it in the cup holder of my car and went to run an errand. After about an hour, the ice cream had a MASSIVE layer of thick, crusty foam on it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m nearly positive ice cream shouldn’t do that.

So, friends, word to the wise. Should you ever find yourself in Lewiston, Maine whatever you do, do NOT go to Main Street Dairy Treat (located on 688 Main St. in Lewiston, ME) for your ice cream. They are rude, they are spiteful, and their ice cream is disgusting – possibly the worst I’ve eaten. While you're at it, also avoid BJ's Dairy Treat (located on 1459 Sabattus St. in Lewiston, ME) which is owned by the same person.

True story (unfortunately).

And further proof that fact really is better (better?) than fiction.