March 5, 2010

Fact is Better: Ricotta Cheese is Better Than Boys

The Cake Maker and I were feeling quite seeing as our jobs had torn us universes apart (well, I was in Maine and she was in Massachusetts, so maybe not universes, but close enough). I called one night because I was missing her terribly, and she and I (after spending twenty minutes gushing over one another, because we really do have these mighty girl crushes on one another) naturally got on the subject of her seriously lacking (real) romantic life

The Cake Maker: “It’s just so hard to meet guys.”
Me: “That’s because we’re heterosexually challenged.”
The Cake Maker: “Yes we are. Boys are just... they're stupid."
Me: “Yep. I agree. Boys ARE stupid. But we don’t need boys to make us happy, anyway. Because we’ve got food. I mean, seriously, if your options were eating or sexy fun times, you’d choose eating.”
The Cake Maker: “Um, duh. Of course I would. I’d totally be like, ‘Mmm, you’re super sexy and I wanna touch you but I got a pint of chocolate ice cream in the freezer that I’d like in my mouth a little bit more.’”
Me: “Oh, totally. If my options were sexy fun times or a cannoli, I’d take the cannoli.”
Me: “OH MAN! Have you ever had ricotta pie?”
The Cake Maker: “Girl, I MAKE ricotta pie. The bakery I used to work at tried to get my recipe for me.”
Me: “Didja give it to them?”
The Cake Maker: “No.”
Me: “If they offered you $10,000, would you give it to them?”
The Cake Maker: “Yes.”
Me: “If they offered you $5,000 would you give it to them?”
The Cake Maker: “Yes.”
Me: “If they offered you $1,000 . . .”
The Cake Maker: “No. I’m not prostituting out my recipe. I’ve got standards.”
Me: “So you would settle for . . . ?”
The Cake Maker: “Three thousand, five hundred dollars.”
Me: “You’ve clearly put thought into this.”
The Cake Maker: “Well, yeah. After all, when you don’t have any boy parts to think about, you spend a lot of time thinking about food.”
Me: “And even when you have boy parts to think about, we spend most of our time thinking about food.”
The Cake Maker: “Amen to that.”

True story.

Further proof that fact is better than fiction.