January 1, 2010

Fact is Better: Smell My Fingers

Ever since I became a Veggie, I've had to do alot more cooking for myself. This is okay for the most part, minus my OCD with food smells (nothing drives me crazier than strong food scents lingering in the air or on someone's clothing - when I was a teen, I used to bring a change of clothing so that after eating out with my friends or family, I could change into non-food smelling clothing. Just another lovely quirk).

In my own home, I try never to stir-fry or saute anything, because it seems to leave horribly strong smells behind in and on everything afterwards. Especially things like peppers, onions, and garlic.

I falsely assumed that baking garlic would be less smelly.

Silly me.

Me: "All I smell IS GARLIC!"
The Photographer: "I don't smell garlic."
Me: "It's all over the place! It's in my hair, it's on my fingers, it's LINGERING IN THE AIR. IT'S EVERYWHERE."
The Photographer: "Why were you playing with garlic?"
Me: *sneer* "I wasn't playing with garlic. I was eating it. I tried to make garlic bread. But instead of using like garlic powder, or rubbing garlic on it, I just left the chunks of it on the bread."
The Photographer: *raises an eyebrow*
Me: "I once heard that garlic's so potent that after you eat it, your feet smell like it thirty minutes later.
The Photographer: *raises both eyebrows*
Me: " . . . I wanted to see if it was true."
The Photographer: " . . . It is true?"
Me: "I don't know know! But I didn't sleep at all because it was all I could smell!"
The Photographer: ". . .then maybe it's true."
Me: *sneering*
The Photographer: *shrugs*
Me: *pulling out the coffee from the freezer, I dump half the bag down the sink drain*
The Photographer: "What're you doing now?"
Me: "I threw some of the garlic down the drain, and I heard coffee helps get rid of bad smells."
The Photographer: ". . .Listen, it really doesn't smell like garlic, I think you're . . ."
Me: *shoving my fingers under his nose* "TELL ME YOU DON'T SMELL GARLIC!"
The Photographer: "I don't smell garlic . . ."
Me: *look at him suspiciously*
The Photographer: ". . . but I do smell coffee."
Me: *clenching my jaw* "That's it! We're not hanging out tonight!"
The Photographer: "That's okay." *shrug* "I hear you smell like garlic anyway."

True story.

Further proof that fact is better than fiction.