May 12, 2008

Fact is Better: The Canadian Border Patrol

After returning from England, and having my heart broken, I was having a difficult time readjusting to being home. My dad, in uncharacteristic show of concern, decided to take me on an impromptu long weekend to Canada to get my mind off things for a little bit.

This is how that weekend started . . .

*pulling up to the border patrol, and handing our ID's over*
Border Patrol: “Who does this child belong to?”
Dad: “Uh . . . me.”
Border Patrol: “Oh?”
Dad: “Yeah – see how the last names are the same?”
Border Patrol: “Where is the mother?”
Dad: “Uh, I don’t know. Back at home?”
Border Patrol: “SIR, where . . . is . . . the . . . mother . . . of this child?!”
Dad: “MAINE. WHERE SHE LIVES.”
Border Patrol: *taking a step back* “SIR, IT IS ILLEGAL TO TRANSPORT CHILDREN . . .”
Step Mom: “SHE’S 23 YEARS OLD!!!”
Border Patrol: *looks at passport, looks at me*
Me: “Hi.”
Border Patrol: *looks at me, looks at passport*
Me: “1984, man, it’s right there on the passport.”
Border Patrol: *hands i.d.’s back and let’s us leave without looking at us further*

They totally thought my dad was abducting me out of the country.

True story.

Further proof that fact is better than fiction.